Before I jump into the story of Michael and I, I think it’s appropriate to provide additional context. I completed graduate school in May 2019 and moved to Texas to advance my education and begin my career in health policy and law. Unfortunately the opportunities in Maine are limited and I wanted to set myself up for success. I initially imagined myself with my nose to the ground and strictly focusing on advancing my career when I got settled in Texas. Surely it worked! I earned three different promotions in less than four months. However, I sensed a void in my life. I was already in my mid-20s and really wanted to start a family of my own.

There’s no doubt that my generation, millennials and gen Zs, is delaying marriage and children for a number of reasons: school and debt among others. I always thought I would too, but the reality is, biology doesn’t care about your career. I already had reason to believe that getting married and getting pregnant was going to require more time and effort, so I felt the need to get started. So like any young person in 2019, I downloaded a degrading app and atomized myself into a short catchy bio and a couple of low-quality photos. I won’t go into detail about my experience with the app, just know if you are on one of those dating apps, I am praying for you. After about a month, I met Michael. We got to the point and scheduled a date a week out from our initial text interaction. We didn’t talk at all after scheduling the date. In fact, I almost forgot about him all together in the midst of a very busy work week. I was out running at Zilker Park when he texted me that he arrived at the coffee shop where we agreed to meet. I quickly got in my car- still in my running gear- and got to there as quickly as I could. Honestly, I wasn’t that excited. I was jaded. To my surprise, our quick date turned into a 3 hour ordeal. We hit it off quite quickly. When we parted ways, he requested we see each other again soon and I agreed.

In the meantime, we talked on FaceTime every night. On our second date, we hashed out our intentions. Both Michael and I wanted to get married in the near future and start a family. Our politics, morals, and values aligned. We discussed finances, career goals, among other topics that most couples would likely deem off limits for at least a year. We were not letting the grass grow under our feet. I was totally comfortable and excited about our decision.

Many of my friends, and perhaps even some of my family, thought I was making an irrational decision. It’s quite comical to me because if Michael and I met prior to the 70s, we would have been deemed crazy to not make the decision to get married after meeting! By September, we agreed to get married. We were sitting on the couch in his living room completing a puzzle when he asked me if I wanted to marry him. I said “yes” and he planned an official proposal. We felt it was necessary in order to explain our intentions to friends and family.

On October 19th, Michael took me to show me where he grew up in San Antonio. He was so quiet that afternoon. I had an idea that there was something up, but had no doubt that it was not anything to worry about. That evening he proposed. He later admitted he was quiet and focused on looking for the perfect place. I was elated! The moment was surreal. I always dreamed of getting married, but never thought it was in the cards for me. I always viewed marriage and a career as mutually exclusive and finally cracked myself out of that toxic mentality. By this time, I had already accepted my third promotion and felt financially comfortable.

Michael already told his mother and grandmother; after all the ring he gave me was his grandmother’s engagement ring! Telling my friends and family we were officially engaged to be married was rather challenging. It was one thing to discuss how serious we were from the start, but I knew there would be some serious judgement that we were actually taking steps to spend forever together after three months of courtship. Some were outright unsupportive and others were happy for me, supposedly. This was a moment of truth. I took their responses lightly because my intuition led me to believe this was a good decision. Michael and I discussed when we would “tie the knot.” We actually wanted to elope immediately. Planning a wedding sounded overwhelming and more extravagant than our liking. That’s not to say we don’t appreciate extravagant things, but we had no desire to spend more than absolutely necessary. We had plans to buy a ranch and have many children! Why waste the money on one night, right? I’ll be writing another blog about our low-cost, beautiful wedding that we profited from! My parents were already pondering the idea of visiting in February, so we decided to get married when they planned to visit. It didn’t give friends and family much notice, but as I see it, those who really wanted to come would find a way. Those who couldn’t for work and/or family reasons would totally be excused. We would eventually find time to visit my home state and make our rounds regardless. We managed to find our first home and planned a wedding over the course of three months. We kept it very simple! We toured a couple of venues and decided to wed at the synagogue Michael’s family had been attending for decades. We recruited help from friends to decorate and had a local Texas BBQ restaurant cater dinner. Though many were skeptical, the ceremony and reception were perfect! Weeks after our wedding we learned we were expecting our first son, Joseph! We spent our first year of marriage quarantined together due to COVID. Though we had to cancel our honeymoon, I believe this was one of the biggest blessings. We had the opportunity to spend every day together and I had a restful pregnancy because of that. We’ve been married for over a year and a half now and I could not imagine life any other way. Our transition to parenthood was somewhat testing, but we are committed to each other and Joseph. I am still just as content and confident in this relationship as I was at the very start.

As I mentioned previously, many people were, and probably still are, skeptical of our marriage and love story; as if our love is any less than other couples’ due to only having known each other for six months before getting married and starting a family. I think this belief is a product of modernity. Our mama, Michael’s grandmother, only knew her husband for a week before agreeing to marry him. He then was deployed for a year, only to return days before their wedding. They also got pregnant immediately and proceeded to be married for over 50 years.

I’ve never once doubted Michael’s love for me or my love for him. Next week marks two years of knowing and loving each other. This is just the beginning of our life together and I am so excited to see what the future has in store for us!